Things I thought I would never say

It happens as a parent. We say it won’t, but it does. We’re in the grocery store walking along telling our toddler how you shouldn’t stick your finger in your nose and maybe that’s why his nose hurts today. Or you’re at the park with a stream for the kids to explore and your potty training kiddo decides this would be a great place to practice… “Don’t pee in the stream! Pull your pants back up!”. Or after telling your kid that if he throws one more rock we’ll have to leave. You turn to the employee at the discovery center and say “He doesn’t get out much.” And you realize she doesn’t see that you were trying to be humorous. Oops.
This morning I found myself explaining that it’s difficult to eat grapes out of the bowl like a puppy because we have mouths on flat faces, not snouts. So our mouths don’t fit into bowls like dog mouths do.
Just five years ago I never would have imagined even thinking these things. My day was spent stitching Feltidermy, while watching Dr. Who episode marathons on Netflix. I didn’t have to get anyone else ready to go if I needed to run out for a certain color thread or down to the grocery. Now I’m not surprised if I catch myself asking Squishy if he’s pooped again and can we please change the stanky poop pants. (One of these days he’ll decide that sitting on the potty is a good idea.)
A few months ago we had taken Squishy to Ikea…Why do we keep thinking that’s a good idea? Anyway, as I was carrying my screaming overstimulated toddler through the parking lot, I noticed a young couple watching us and giggling. I looked at them and growled “Someday this will be you. You think it won’t, but it will.” He continued to smile, she got a glassy horrified look to her eyes. I guess I got through to one of them.
When you decide to bring a child into your life, you think it’s going to be all sunshine, rainbows, all organic produce and giggles. Then one day you find yourself explaining the concept of privacy to the little body throwing himself into the other side of the bathroom door. And you’re yelling about the concept of privacy very loudly so that the little ears on that little body can hear you over the loud thuds of them slamming into the door over and over and over. Then you find yourself asking “Can Mommy just pee in private this one time? I’ll give you a pack of fruit snacks when I get out!”. Yep. Before kids I thought those are things I’ll never say to my kids. Then I became a parent and I find myself saying things I never thought I would never say. So for those of you who are parents, it’s okay, we’ve all been there. We’re all going to be there at one point.

Really, it’s okay. At least that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself.

One comment

  1. Jane says:

    Mine was my kids are never gonna have snotty nose faces/dirty faces/ etc or never gonna jump on furniture.. It’s OK just gotta know which ideas to let go of & which to keep

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